


just for a moment, let's be still

by IWasMeantToFeel



Category: A Simple Favor (2018)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Cheating (obviously), Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smut, Soft Emily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-28 03:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWasMeantToFeel/pseuds/IWasMeantToFeel
Summary: “You’re… way too nice. It’s difficult not to take advantage.”“Take advantage all you want.”"Maybe I will."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place sometime after when Stephanie gives Emily the friendship bracelet, and sometime before Emily gets the letter from Faith.  
> (Title is from 'Let's Be Still' by The Head and The Heart.)

Stephanie slides the lasagna into the oven. It isn’t as perfect as she made it when she filmed the recipe for the vlog a few weeks back, but it’ll do. It’s seven o’clock in the evening, and the boys are upstairs in Nicky’s room, playing some destructive game. Every few minutes she hears Lego crashing to the ground, even over the soft beat of Emily’s French music.

After Miles and Nicky’s fourth playdate, Emily gave her a key to her enormous house. “For emergencies only,” she’d said, but Sean was often away on business, teaching creative writing to hopeful young authors at community college as most failed writers do, and Stephanie began to collect Nicky from school more and more. Emily would arrive at her house late at night after long days at work, and would have to rouse Nicky from slumber and carry him down the stairs to the car to take him home. Stephanie began to notice how exhausted her friend had started to look, and how quiet she was after Stephanie opened the door to let her in - a far cry from the sarcastic, wry Emily she’d first met at the school gates. Dennis Nylon had been involved in some kind of very public scandal - Stephanie wasn’t allowed to know the details - and Emily was sometimes in the office for twelve hours a day, sorting out the mess. So Stephanie had offered to take Nicky back to Emily’s house a few nights a week, instead.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Stephanie lays the table, picks up all the sofa cushions from the floor where the boys left them earlier after making a fort, and leans against the counter to rest for a moment. Changing her mind abruptly, she gathers up all the knives, forks and plates again. Emily probably won’t be back for hours. She and the boys will eat on the couch in front of some trashy cartoon, and then she’ll hurry them upstairs for early bedtime.

She always waits up for Emily, just to check that she gets home safely. As soon as they’ve exchanged a few words, Emily looks in on Nicky, and Stephanie goes to the guest room and collapses into bed, distracted by the knowledge that Emily is completely alone in her huge, empty bedroom just down the corridor. They only ever sleep over at Emily’s house - Stephanie doesn’t have a guest room, and she isn’t about to make Emily sleep on the pull-out couch.

Suddenly, she hears the sound of a key in the lock. It’s early for Emily to be back, but here she is, wearing one of her usual perfectly fitted suits, hair pulled up in a high ponytail, effortlessly messy. Stephanie is too distracted by her friend’s appearance for a moment to notice how utterly exhausted her expression is, and doesn’t pick up on it until Emily’s murmuring hello, pulling off her jacket and collapsing on the couch. She lets her head fall back against the back of it with a thud, closing her eyes and sighing deeply. Stephanie just stands there for a moment.

“Are you okay?” she ventures.

“Mmm.” Emily sighs again, running a hand through her hair with her eyes still firmly closed. “Fucking nightmare.”

“Work?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Absolutely not.” Emily laughs a little, but isn’t derisive, just tired. “How’s Nicky?”

“He’s fine. Great. He and Miles are getting along so well.” Stephanie busies her hands with boiling the kettle. She’s never seen Emily drink a hot beverage other than a scalding hot espresso in the morning, but for some reason she makes peppermint tea, strong, with a spoonful of honey.

“Here.” She holds it out to Emily, who cracks open one eye for a moment and looks at the mug with confusion.

“What is this?”

“Tea.”

Emily laughs again, still weakly, but Stephanie’s heart skips a whole beat at the way her face looks when she’s happy. _Stop it_ , she tells herself. _Best friend. Married best friend. Almost as off limits as a half brother._ She sits down beside her on the couch, as Emily sips the tea and crinkles up her nose a little.

“Herbal?”

“Yep.”

“God, Steph.”

Stephanie just smiles as Emily goes on drinking, the sight of her slightly dishevelled and sipping gingerly from a mug so different from her usual dressed up martini look. Struck with a thought, she sets her own mug down and drops to her knees on the floor in front of Emily.

“What are you doing?” Emily asks curiously and a little apprehensively, scrunching up her nose again.

“Taking off your boots.”

“I can do that myself,” Emily protests weakly, trying to move her feet away. Stephanie uses a firm hand to stop her.

“I don’t mind.”

Emily watches her closely as she unlaces each boot carefully. “Your husband was a lucky man.”

“I wouldn’t do this for my husband,” Stephanie tells her, with an honesty she hadn’t intended. Her eyes widened. “You’re _not_ wearing my racoon socks.”

“You left them here,” Emily says, by way of explanation.

“But you think they’re stupid!”

“I never said that.”

“Full of surprises,” Stephanie mutters to herself.

“What was that, baby?” Emily doesn’t bother to sit forward to hear her better from the position she’d collapsed into. Stephanie can sense her tiredness acutely.

“I just said that you’re always surprising me.”

“Well, maybe racoon socks help to keep life interesting.” The song changes, and Emily sighs quietly, eyes closing again. “You’re listening to my playlist.”

“I like it.” Stephanie tucks the excess laces inside the boots and lines them up perfectly on the floor.

“Come here,” Emily murmurs, so quietly she almost doesn’t catch it, but with her usual authority.

“What?”

“Come up here.” She pats her lap, without opening her eyes.

“I… uh…”

“Steph, come on,” she almost pleads.

Stephanie doesn’t know what she’s implying. Is Emily telling her to sit on her lap? They’ve never done anything like this - never even hugged, as most best friends do, not that she’d really know. Does she sit sideways? Straddle her?

She gives up on trying to guess what Emily wants and gently lowers herself onto the other woman’s lap, facing her, with a knee on either side of her thighs. They’re so close that she can smell Emily’s perfume - something expensive and musky. Hands come up to hold her waist and she stiffens with the shock of it, but they slide around her back firmly and pull her in until she’s flush against Emily; can feel her heart beating through her shirt. There’s nowhere else to put her head except to lean it on Emily’s shoulder, cheek resting against her neck, her face buried in her ponytail. She reaches around cautiously, and pulls out the hair tie until the waves fall free around her shoulders. Stephanie’s always liked it better down - she has such incredible hair. She lets her hands rest on Emily’s upper arms, relaxes and waits, but all Emily does is hum, holding her a little tighter.

So they’re hugging, for the first time, Stephanie slowly realises. Emily is all but clinging to her, her breathing slowing and deepening.

“Tired?” Stephanie murmurs into her friend’s hair, reaching over to tuck a stray lock behind her ear. Emily shivers, minutely, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by either of them.

“You have no idea.”

They stay there for a while, until Miles bursts into the kitchen without warning. “Mom!!”

Stephanie releases Emily quickly and jumps up. Her friend is blinking on the couch in surprise, as if she had been in another world completely.

“Hey, Nicky’s mom!” Miles shouts. “Mom, Nicky said what’s for dinner?”

“Don’t shout, smooch, it’s not polite. Dinner’s your favourite, and it’s almost ready.”

“Lasagna!” Miles screeches. Stephanie sees Emily visibly wince out of the corner of her eye.

“Miles! If you shout again you’re not getting any. Emily has a headache.”

“Oh, sorry.” His face falls. “Sorry, Emily.”

Emily waves a hand.

“It’s okay, smooch. Go get Nicky. We’re having TV dinner.” She looks over at Emily. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, perfect.”

The boys charge downstairs and Nicky launches himself onto his mom. Stephanie watches Emily hug and kiss him, asking him about his day, and smiles. She’s noticed that however crappy the day has been, Emily always has time for her son. It’s one of the things she loves about her best friend, however difficult to understand she can be. Wait - loves? She shakes her head free from the distracting thoughts and dishes up the meal, handing the plates out to the boys.

“Can I help?” Emily asks.

“No way, stay there,” Stephanie instructs.

Emily smiles one of her radiant smiles. “You’re…”

“What?”

“You’re… way too nice. It’s difficult not to take advantage.”

“Take advantage all you want.” The words come out without her thinking, and she blushes bright red. Emily just chuckles.

“Maybe I will.”

Stephanie doesn’t let the boys eat food on the couch after last week’s ketchup incident, so they sit on the floor in a pile of cushions. Emily and Stephanie eat slowly beside each other, watching the inane cartoon Nicky’s chosen. It feels far more domestic than anything they’ve ever done before, and it makes Stephanie sit up a little straighter, uncomfortable. She tries to think of what she would say if Sean walked through the door. He probably wouldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary - just his wife and her best friend watching TV with the kids. But it’s the way it _feels_ …

At some point, Emily sets her empty plate down on the floor beside Stephanie’s and angles her body a little towards her. She begins to run a finger back and forth across the seam of Stephanie’s skirt, absentmindedly, as though she isn’t aware she’s doing it. Stephanie shifts a little, frustrated with herself for being so aroused by such a simple, casual gesture. Emily is her _friend_. This means absolutely nothing - and yet here she is, pressing her thighs together just from Emily’s soft touch over the fabric. She tries to regulate her breathing, concentrate on the screen in front of her. As the minutes pass, the touch ghosting over her inner thigh slows, and then stops completely, Emily’s hand just resting there. She’s about to breathe out in relief when she feels a weight on her shoulder. Surprised, she looks over to see what it is.

When she does, her heart feels almost too big for her chest, and a heavy weight drops inside her somewhere. Emily has fallen asleep on her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos if you think racoon socks keep life interesting ;)
> 
> I haven't written a fic in ages... I just felt like I had to write something for my fave gay murder moms. I was super inspired by aliciameade, whose fic for these two is making my life better one update at a time.
> 
> Also I have no editor and for some reason I always switch tenses without noticing, so if you see any errors let me know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great feedback on this. Fics for these two make me happy and I hope this does the same for you.  
> Someone commented that they wanted the steamy sequel to "Take advantage all you want." "Maybe I will." So here it is ;)

A few days later, Sean’s work trips abruptly end, and Nicky doesn’t need picking up from school so much anymore. Stephanie hasn’t seen Emily in a week - the last time she laid eyes on her was when she was closing her bedroom door behind her after Stephanie had roused her from sleep on the couch, leaving Stephanie alone in the corridor.

She misses her. Spending so much time with Emily isolated her even more from the other parents, and she’s realised that she really has no friends apart from her. It crosses her mind that that probably isn’t healthy, but the truth is, she doesn’t want anyone else. Emily is all she needs in a friend - her sarcasm, her French music, her ‘proper’ martinis. The way she somehow always says the exact right thing to make Stephanie feel just a little more confident, a little more self-assured. The way she smells… the way the skin of her neck would have felt if Stephanie had kissed it that night on the couch…

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by her phone vibrating on her nightstand.

 **Emily** : Are you awake?

Her stomach flutters nervously. Emily never texts her. The last messages in their ‘conversation’ are five texts from Stephanie updating her on Nicky’s evening routine, and a simple ‘Ok’ from Emily. But now, after a week of no contact whatsoever, she’s texting her?

She types out a response quickly.

 **Stephanie** : Yes. What’s up?

The reply doesn’t take long.

 **Emily** : Could I come over?

Stephanie is shocked.

 **Stephanie** : Of course. But what about Nicky…?

 **Emily** : Sean’s home.

 **Stephanie** : Okay. See you soon.

She doesn’t know why she’s suddenly nervous. Miles is tucked up in bed upstairs, the door firmly closed. She puts on lip balm and perfume, and checks her appearance in the bathroom mirror twice before she hears the knock at the door. She’s not quite sure why.

She can see Emily’s silhouette through the frosted glass of the door, wearing what she assumes is another suit. What she’s not prepared for when she opens the door is Emily’s red-rimmed eyes.

Emily gives her a wry smile, as though she knows that Stephanie’s noticed and can sense her concern. “Well, baby, can I come in?”

“Yeah, I…”

“Thanks.” Emily closes the door behind her.

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, no.” Her eyes scan the hallway and the dark kitchen.

“Sorry the lights are off, I was upstairs…”

Emily doesn’t seem to notice that she’s apologised, so she doesn’t draw attention to it. She looks up the staircase and then back at Stephanie.

“Do you want to come up?”

“Yes.”

“Sure. Um… let’s go.”

Emily laughs at her. “Not used to taking people up to your bedroom, Steph?”

“Haha.” She resists the urge to take Emily’s hand as she leads her up the stairs and into her room.

“It’s nice,” Emily remarks as Stephanie closes the door behind them. “Very you.”

“Very me in what way?”

“Just… cute. Comfortable. I like the fairy lights.”

Stephanie decides to cut to the chase. “Are you staying the night?”

Emily pauses, then nods. “Please.”

She doesn’t seem to know what to do with herself. In her own home, Emily’s stature seems to fit; seems graceful and poised. Here, she’s just as elegant, but she seems to tone down her presence to fit the room. She’s almost awkward. Almost.

“Pyjamas, then?”

Emily pauses.

“Unless you want to sleep in a suit,” Stephanie smirks.

“Pyjamas would be good. I came straight from the office.”

Stephanie’s eyes widen. “At midnight?”

“The drive takes 40 minutes.”

Stephanie decides not to push her. She opens her pyjama and underwear drawer, and finds her softest T-shirt and shorts. Doesn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or pleased when she notices Emily glance at the drawer’s contents.

“Here.”

She doesn’t expect Emily to start taking off her clothes right where she is. Stephanie averts her eyes as she unfastens her bra behind her back and pulls the T-shirt over her head. Her bare legs are incredible. Of course. She knows she’s looking, in her peripheral vision, and she knows Emily knows she is.

“Come on, baby, if I didn’t want you to look I wouldn’t be right in front of you.”

Stephanie just laughs awkwardly, unsure of the intended connotations. Emily has the upper hand again. Even dressed in too small pyjamas, in Stephanie’s own bedroom, looking as though she’s been crying. She has to gain it back somehow, so she walks around the bed, pulls back the covers, and gets in. Emily just stares at her.

“You can sleep on the floor if you want.”

Emily just blinks, and gets into the bed. There’s a huge space between them, and Stephanie itches to break it. Instead, she reaches over and turns off the light, so that just the fairy lights glow on the other side of the room. They don’t speak.

“I haven’t shared a bed with anyone in years,” she ends up saying, trying to start a conversation.

“Neither have I,” Emily responds, after a while.

“But you… you’re married.”

“Sean and I don’t sleep in the same room,” she admits matter-of-factly.

Stephanie turns to face her. “Why?”

“I don’t like being asleep when there’s someone else in the room.”

“Any reason?” Stephanie asks, gently. Emily rarely expresses preferences about things, and never talks about her feelings. Ever.

She shrugs. “I just don’t like it.”

Stephanie feels as though she’s lost her again. She turns over to face the wall, so Emily’s behind her. Maybe if she doesn’t feel scrutinised it’ll be easier for her to speak.

“What happened today?” she asks softly.

“What makes you think something happened?”

“Well, you came over here.”

“I just wanted to see you.”

“Is that all? Didn’t something happen at work?”

“I missed you.”

Stephanie stops breathing for a minute. She knows Emily’s hiding something - she wouldn’t cry for no reason. But she’s overwhelmingly flattered by what Emily’s just said, and the gentle tone she used.

“You did?”

“That’s what I said,” Emily replies stiffly. Stephanie rolls her eyes. Every time she thinks she’s breaking through the walls Emily shuts her down again.

“Why?” She knows she’s pushing it.

“Do I have to have a reason?”

“No.”

They’re silent for several minutes. Stephanie can feel Emily shifting closer to her slowly, but she doesn’t speak, and Stephanie begins to think she’ll probably never get her answer.

“You make me feel safe.”

Stephanie tries to formulate a response, her heart beating quickly. This the first time Emily has ever made known that their friendship means something to her, too. But then she feels an arm slide around her waist, and lips on her shoulder.

“What are you…?” she gasps.

“Shh.”

Emily presses kisses along her exposed shoulder blade to the top of her spine, starting soft, barely there. As she reaches her neck they become hot and open-mouthed, and she sucks on the skin below her ear. Her fingers trail up and down Stephanie’s side, pushing her top up over her ribs. Stephanie stiffens as she feels the heat beginning to pool between her legs.

“Relax,” Emily whispers. “Let me do this.”

Stephanie just nods, unable to speak. She feels as though she’s dreaming. God knows she’s fantasised about this, even though she’s being denying it to herself all week.

“Have you ever touched yourself thinking about me?” she murmurs in Stephanie’s ear, the heat of it sending shivers through her whole body. It’s as if Emily was reading her thoughts.

“Yes,” Stephanie manages.

“Did you come?”

Stephanie squeezes her eyes shut as a hand trails up her ribs to her breast and a thumb finds her nipple, rubbing soft circles.

“Yes.”

“How hard?”

She can feel the whole of Emily’s body pressed against her back, her knees tucked behind her own, her hard nipples through the borrowed T-shirt. The darkness makes her feel as though she’s still in last night’s fantasy, with Emily’s fingers between her legs instead of her own, coaxing her through her third orgasm. She lets out a shuddering breath.

“How hard?” Emily repeats. Her fingertips trace the waistband of Stephanie’s shorts.

“So hard,” Stephanie breathes, almost whimpering.

Emily slips her hand inside her shorts and down over her underwear, over her clit to the wetness below it. “Fuck, Steph.” She sounds almost reverent.

Stephanie whines as she drags a nail over her clit, up and down through the fabric. She thinks she could come just from the feather-light touch. She never thought Emily would be like this in bed - her personality gave the impression that she would be fast and rough. But she’s unbelievably slow - so slow that Stephanie has to move her hips forwards just to get the tiniest bit of friction.

“What do you want, baby?” Emily whispers.

“Inside.”

Emily laughs, almost silently. “I thought so.”

She pushes Stephanie’s soaked panties aside and trails a finger through her folds. Stephanie’s legs fall open to give her more space to move, and as they do so Emily pushes two fingers inside her. Slowly. She can’t stop the groan that escapes her.

Emily shushes her, and Stephanie nods quickly. She really doesn’t want Miles waking up now.

Emily begins to move inside her, and Stephanie already knows she’s going to climax embarrassingly fast. It’s been years since it was anyone else but her between her legs, and Emily seems to know exactly how to touch her - exactly what to do to make her clench around the fingers inside her.

“You feel so good,” Emily moans, and Stephanie feels hips push against her from behind. She feels arousal shoot through her at that. At the idea that touching her is turning Emily on. She almosts asks her to do it again.

“I’m close,” she admits through her whimpers, as Emily curls her fingers inside her. She presses her face into the pillow to muffle the sounds she can’t help making.

“What do you need?”

“I -” As she’s about to say it, Emily’s thumb finds her clit, rubbing hard, and she falls apart, her hand coming down between her own legs to hold Emily’s there. She shudders against her and Emily holds her tightly, guiding her through it, murmuring something in her ear that she can’t hear above the pounding of blood in her head. When it’s over, she’s breathless, almost dizzy, and only momentarily satisfied. It feels as though every nerve ending in her body is buzzing.

Emily slips her fingers out of her slowly, audibly, and Stephanie sighs at how empty she suddenly feels. She feels Emily wipe her hand on her shorts, and then curl back around her. It’s then that she realises that through this whole encounter, they haven’t kissed. She hasn’t even looked at Emily’s face.

“Don’t you want me to…”

“Not this time,” Emily soothes her. “Go to sleep, baby.”

Stephanie is suddenly painfully aware that this might be the last time this happens. That she might never be able to touch Emily. That Emily might never touch her again. But right now, Emily’s legs are tangled with hers and an arm is wrapped around her waist, and she can’t help but relax into the moment, the smell of sex and Emily’s perfume hanging in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to point out if I made any spelling or grammar errors so I can correct it. And feedback means a lot to me :)


	3. Chapter 3

When Stephanie wakes up to her alarm at six the next morning, the bed is cold and empty. Emily’s smell clinging to the sheets is the only sign that she was there. She looks around, but there’s no note of explanation, and no text. It’s as if she imagined the entire night.

After taking Miles to school, the day passes excruciatingly slowly. She doesn’t feel like filming anything, even though she knows she needs the income from at least one more video this week. She does laundry, makes savoury muffins and mends the holes in Miles’ trousers. Then she searches up Dennis Nylon on Google, in case there’s any clue in the news as to what made Emily upset yesterday, but there’s just the usual speculation over sweatshop labour and Indonesian children.

It’s as though she can still feel Emily wrapped around her, throughout the day. She showers reluctantly because she needs to wash her hair, but hates every second of washing the feeling of Emily off her body. She can’t quite believe that last night was real - there isn’t a single sign that Emily was in her house, and if it wasn’t for the ache between her legs she would probably conclude that she’d dreamt it. But she knows she didn’t.

Four o’clock eventually rolls around. Miles had football after school, so Stephanie packs a snack for him to eat in the car. There’s no chance of bumping into Emily - Nicky doesn’t do football, and would have been picked up an hour ago. She’s confident in this knowledge as she hugs Miles hello and hands him an apple.

“How was football, smooch?”

“It was great! But Mom, Nicky didn’t get picked up.” Miles points over at a bench by the door and sure enough, Nicky is sitting there next to the teaching assistant, swinging his legs and looking miserable.

“Oh hi, Stephanie, are you here for Nicky?” the TA asks.

“Uhh… not as far as I’m aware.”

“I’ve called his mom and dad but neither of them are answering.”

“Oh… I…”

“Nicky can come home with us, can’t he? We do that all the time,” Miles announces to the TA.

“Would that be okay?” the man asks. He looks nervous. Probably encountered Emily’s voicemail, then.

“I mean, it’s not a problem for me. But what’s the school protocol?”

“At this point, the best thing we could do is let Nicky go home with someone his parents trust.”

“What’s going on?” Stephanie hears from behind her. She whips around in surprise at the authoritative voice, and sure enough, it’s Emily.

“Mom!” Nicky jumps on her and Emily picks him up with ease, holding him tightly. She looks at Stephanie as though she’s never seen her before.

“We were just… uh… discussing what to do with Nicky considering you hadn’t arrived…” The man trails off as Emily gives him a wilting look.

“I got held up at work.”

“Well, great, you’re here now! Thanks very much though, Stephanie.” The man all but runs away, clearly intimidated.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Emily asks Stephanie, almost accusatory.

Stephanie’s shocked by her tone, a sharp contrast to how she spoke to her last night. “He said you weren’t picking up.”

Emily frowns, and checks her phone. “Fuck. I was on a call with the press on the drive home. Some people clearly don’t understand that my entire fucking life doesn’t revolve around protecting that asshole’s reputation.”

“Oopsy, oopsy, oopsy,” Miles chimes in eagerly.

“Drink?” Emily asks, ignoring him.

“Sure.” Stephanie bundles up Miles in his coat. “C’mon smooch, we’re going to Nicky’s house.”

“Again!” Miles sounds thrilled. “Now we can finish our Lego volcano!”

“Perfect,” Emily says ironically. She winks at Stephanie, and Stephanie instantly feels reassured. Something had been off, but this is more like her best friend. “See you at mine, then.”

Sean’s home - Stephanie can see his car in the driveway. She instantly wants to turn around - she clearly has no place in Emily’s kitchen right now, drinking martinis with the woman who fucked her last night and her husband. But Emily beckons her through the car window, and she feels she has no choice. Sean greets them at the door, immediately pulling Emily into a long kiss as the boys go racing up the stairs, and Stephanie’s stomach churns.

“How are you, Stephanie?” he asks as he kisses the corner of his wife’s mouth.

“Great, thanks!” She knows she sounds too chirpy.

“Been busy?”

Emily smirks at her from her husband’s arms, and Stephanie fights her blush.

“Oh, you know how it is. School run, cleaning, dinnertime, bathtime, bedtime. It’s hectic.”

“Hectic,” Emily agrees, amused. “So where the fuck were you when Nicky needed picking up, baby?”

For a moment Stephanie thinks she’s addressing her - she’s become used to the pet name. But obviously, she’s talking to Sean - the man who she’s currently pressed up against, hands resting on his chest like the picture of domesticity.

“You said you were doing it today.”

“Didn’t you think something was wrong when Nicky wasn’t back here at 3:30?”

“Do you want me questioning your parenting skills? Because I can do that, baby, if you…”

Stephanie wanders through to the kitchen, not feeling like watching an argument unfold. She’s become used to the way the two of them talk to each other - the tone of voice teasing and affectionate, the meaning the opposite. She also knows that they can go on for hours.

“You know what, fuck this,” Emily says eventually, striding into the kitchen. “You can go back to not writing, upstairs. Don’t come down until I say so.”

Sean gives an exasperated sigh, but does as he’s told. Emily’s rummaging in the freezer, pulling out glasses and slamming them down on the table.

“You’d think he’d appreciate the shitstorm that I’m dealing with at work and try to actually help out once in a while. You know, be empathetic,” she says, sarcastic, but Stephanie can tell that she’s hurt. “He never answers his phone when he’s with Beth.”

“Beth?”

“The TA.”

“The TA who…”

“Yeah, one and the same. Fuck.”

Stephanie winces at the number of profanities that have been used in the last ten minutes, then notices how much Emily’s struggling with cutting the twist. She’s the opposite of her usual composed self, always in control even when she’s angry. This Emily can barely hold the knife with how much her hands are shaking. Stephanie feels a pang of sympathy.

“Here, let me.” She gently takes the knife from Emily’s hands and slices the lemon for her. “Before you hurt yourself.”

Emily just watches her as she finishes off the drinks. “Thank you,” she says eventually.

“I’m good at this now,” Stephanie says, somewhat smugly.

“Isn’t that something you let other people tell you?”

“Well, am I good?”

“You’re pretty good, Steph.” Emily smiles. She downs the drink.

“Hitting the reset button?”

“The reset button hardly works anymore.” She hops up on the counter, and beckons to Stephanie, who goes to stand between her legs with her glass, unsure of what’s about to transpire.

“You left, this morning.”

Emily blinks, clearly not having expected Stephanie to bring it up. “I had to.”

“Why?”

“Sean would have asked questions. My entire job is based around lying, I don’t want to have to make up alibis at home too.” She tangles her fingers in Stephanie’s hair and tilts her head up to look at her. Stephanie can’t help looking over at the door, worried. “He won’t come downstairs,” Emily reassures her.

“You never kissed me last night.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“What about now?”

Emily chuckles, and brings her lips down to ghost over Stephanie’s. Stephanie runs her hands up the sides of Emily’s thighs and back down, pulling her closer as their lips touch. It’s soft, unhurried, and the kiss tastes of gin and lemon. Emily bites gently on Stephanie’s lower lip, and then it’s open-mouthed and Emily’s tongue is licking into Stephanie’s mouth. A crash from upstairs makes them jump apart, Stephanie guilty, Emily clearly pleased.

“Steph, don’t kiss a married woman while her husband’s upstairs and then act remorseful. Own it.”

“I don’t condone cheating.”

“What would you call this, then?”

“I just don’t know how to _not_ do this. I wish I could resist you, but I can’t. I don’t want to.”

Emily kisses her again, hard. “I think I like it better when you don’t resist.”

“Last night was…”

Emily’s eyes sparkle. 

Stephanie changes her mind. “You didn’t let me touch you.”

“I get off on fucking other people more than I like being fucked.”

“Maybe you haven’t been with the right person, then,” Stephanie offers, without thinking.

Emily looks shocked, but doesn’t disagree. It makes Stephanie braver.

“You needed to be close to someone, last night. And the other time. Don’t deny it. On a different level from sex. You need someone to love you.”

“I have you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me reversing that "I have you." scene ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone! I thought I'd start off 2019 right with another chapter for this fic.  
> It's a bit of a short filler chapter because I'm running low on inspiration, so if you have any (and I mean ANY, however random they may be) prompts for the next few chapters, feel free to comment them. I'm not ready to end this yet!

Making progress with Emily is ridiculously difficult. Stephanie doesn’t like to think of her as a project, but the truth is, that’s how she works best - when she’s heading towards a specific goal. She also doesn’t like to psychoanalyse people too much, believing that the past is better left as the past. She certainly wouldn’t want someone to go poking around in her own family history. Having said that, she knows something must have happened to Emily in her childhood. It’s the only way to explain her underlying desperation for affection, the fact that she will never voice it, and the fact that whenever Stephanie tries to be affectionate towards her, unprompted, she flinches away, even if it’s the smallest gesture. Stephanie has noticed over the past few weeks that if Emily initiates it it’s usually okay.

She’d left Emily’s house with Miles pretty quickly after their conversation, feeling as though she’d been too confrontational; too upfront. Emily had certainly been surprised by what she’d said. But Stephanie is motivated by the words, “I have you” - spoken so quietly they were barely intelligible, but spoken nonetheless. Not “I have Nicky,” or “I have Sean”. “I have you.” It’s pretty much the biggest ego boost she’s ever had. To hear that Emily needs her.

She texts her friend when she’s at work sometimes, rarely receiving a reply but knowing now, at least, that it means something to Emily. It turns out that the Dennis Nylon scandal was on an even bigger scale than she’d realised - some tax evasion thing that not only threatens the reputation of the entire company, but also risks the man himself being sent to prison. No wonder Emily’s been so unbelievably stressed and overworked - her job is on this line.

 **Stephanie** : I hope you’re holding up, Em. Let me know if you need anything.

Her YouTube channel is growing, slowly. She makes videos about leftovers that make good meals for kids with working parents, which do extremely well and, unsurprisingly, cause her to end up with a lot of leftovers that she subtly leaves in Emily’s fridge whenever she’s over there to drop off Nicky. She’s finishing up one about green bean casserole when her phone chimes on the counter.

 **Emily** : Could Nicky and I come over tonight?

Stephanie, as usual, is surprised. They never come to her house. There’s only one bed, for one thing, which means either Stephanie or Emily will be on the couch. Unless…

 **Stephanie** : Of course. Why?

 **Emily** : Sean’s got some virus. The last thing I need is for me or Nicky to get sick right now.

 **Stephanie** : Oh, fine! What sort of time?

She spends the rest of the day tidying the house, changing her sheets and making dinner. When Emily arrives, Stephanie’s dressed in jeans and a tank top and is unprepared because for once, her friend is early. When she answers the door she can feel Emily looking her up and down appreciatively, and she thinks that maybe she should wear skinny jeans more often if it gets her this kind of reaction.

“Run upstairs and get ready for bed with Miles, little dude,” Emily tells Nicky, releasing him. He’s gone in a flash. “Hey,” she smirks, turning to Stephanie. “Did you miss me?”

“Of course,” Stephanie says. She wants so desperately to reach over and pull Emily down into a kiss, but she knows Emily knows she does, so she restrains herself. She wants to see what will happen if she doesn’t give Emily what she’s expecting.

Emily kicks off her heels and runs a hand through her annoyingly beautiful hair. “Don’t I get a proper hello?” she teases.

Stephanie raises an eyebrow and says nothing, waiting, and Emily realises what she’s doing. That she’s trying to make her ask.

“Oh, Steph. Don’t play hard to get, it’s not you.”

Stephanie’s momentarily offended, and it shows.

“I don’t mean it like that,” Emily backtracks, stepping forward and pushing Stephanie back against the wall. “I mean I like it better when you don’t resist. I told you before.”

She presses a bruising kiss against her friend’s lips, slipping her hands into her back pockets to hold her, a thigh between her legs. Stephanie shivers, kisses Emily softer, over and over until her friend is leaning into her heavily and she’s leaning against the wall, breathless.

“Now that’s a proper hello,” Emily murmurs huskily, playing with a strand of Stephanie’s hair.

“You’re wearing the bracelet,” Stephanie notices, as her nose brushes Emily’s wrist.

Emily grins. “Isn’t there some rule with friendship bracelets that you’re not supposed to take them off?”

“I have no idea,” Stephanie laughs, flattered. “Do you want a drink? I only have wine.”

“Not tonight.”

Stephanie raises an eyebrow questioningly.

“I’m having a good day,” Emily smiles, as if that’s an explanation.

“Oh. Good.” She can’t hide her confusion.

“I think this stupid situation at work is on its way to being sorted. I’ve barely seen Sean all week. And now I’m here. Things are going relatively well.”

Stephanie doesn’t question the fact that Emily’s day is apparently better when her husband isn’t a part of it, just like she doesn’t question the ease with which Emily kissed her. It was almost casual, as though she comes home from work and greets her like that on a daily basis. It’s dangerous that it already feels so familiar. So necessary.

“So, what d’you want to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @PicassoWithAPencil I hope you appreciated the addition of green bean casserole ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your prompts! I integrated the friendship bracelet one into this chapter, and there are more to come ;)

“I can’t believe you wanted to do this.”

“It’s quite relaxing,” Emily remarks, then laughs a real, full laugh when she sees Stephanie’s face. “Not how you expected me to want to unwind this evening?”

“Not at all.” Stephanie laughs too. They’re sitting on the sofa, a box of beads between them, and Emily - and she can hardly believe she’s seeing this - is threading her a friendship bracelet.

“It’s not all martinis and sex, baby. Sometimes I like to get creative.” Emily winks.

“Okay, tell me the last time you did an arts and crafts project for fun.”

“Do you want this friendship bracelet or not?”

“Yes, I really do,” Stephanie says eagerly, before she can stop herself. Emily picked the colours - it’s crimson red, like, Stephanie remembers, the colour of her hair in that painting hanging in her living room.

“How do I finish it off?”

“You tie the ends and…”

Emily looks nonplussed.

“Here, let me do it.” Stephanie takes it from her carefully and ties it off, then hands it back, not sure what Emily intends to do with it.

“Hold out your wrist,” her friend says.

“Are you propositioning me?” She can’t help but repeat what Emily said last time they did this.

“Yes,” Emily smirks. She slides the bracelet onto Stephanie’s wrist and lifts it up to admire it. Stephanie is amused by how proud of it she seems.

“It’s perfect, Em.”

Emily stops looking at the bracelet for a minute and lowers Stephanie’s hand, still holding her wrist. She seems thoughtful.

“What?”

“You know I don’t let anyone else call me Em?”

“You don’t?”

“No. When I got married to Sean I told him that if he ever called me that I would kill him.”

Stephanie’s taken aback by the far-off glint in Emily’s eye. Her tone is joking, but that look makes her seem deadly serious.

“Why?” She knows Emily won’t answer.

“I don’t mind when you call me that, though.” Emily shakes her head as if to free herself from her thoughts, and looks Stephanie in the eye. “Okay, baby, do you swear to be my best friend forever, until death do us part?” She’s mocking, but not in a mean way. Her thumb strokes over the bracelet on Stephanie’s wrist.

“I do.” It feels like a promise. It _is_ a promise. Of what, she’s not quite sure.

“Mom, Miles has a nosebleed!” Nicky yells from upstairs.

Emily immediately jumps up, Stephanie shortly behind her, and they run upstairs to the bathroom, where Miles is bent over the sink. Stephanie steps forward to help but instantly feels dizzy, as she’d expected she would. She’s okay with blood in general, but when it’s Miles it freaks her out.

Emily notices, of course. She grabs some paper and hands it to Miles, tipping his head forward gently. “Hold that around your nose tightly. That’s it, pinch right there on the bridge of your nose.”

Miles does as he’s told as Emily kneels beside him, a hand on his shoulder, which Stephanie thinks is to reassure him. She can’t believe she’s seeing this. Emily may be a good mom to her own kid, but she is not the type of mom to look after someone else’s, especially when the child is covered in blood and she’s wearing one of her fancy suits.

“There we go, you’re okay,” Emily says soothingly after a few minutes. “Go wash off that blood. Nicky, good job calling us.”

And with that, she stands up elegantly and walks past Stephanie out of the bathroom. Stephanie is frozen to the spot for a moment, half-listening to Nicky and Miles babble on about something as they clean up the blood.

“You coming?” Emily asks, guiding her with a hand on her elbow.

“Yep!” she says, too chirpily.

“What is it?”

“Just… that was really kind of you.”

Emily rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I’m supermom.” She pauses. “Seriously, baby, I’m not a horrible person. I know how to look after a kid.”

“I know! God, I never meant…”

Emily gives her one of her stunning smiles.

“It’s okay, Steph. Now let’s get back to making those friendship bracelets. I wanna do one for Sean.”

Stephanie stares at her, wide-eyed.

“Oh my god, I’m not serious!” Emily almost doubles over laughing. “Fuck.”

Stephanie laughs nervously.

“C’mon, baby, let’s go trade confessions. Isn’t that what best friends do?”

Half an hour later, Emily knows all about Chris and Davis. She teases her mercilessly about it, of course, but she also seems somewhat impressed. Stephanie feels as if her role as innocent single mom has changed to one that Emily takes a little more seriously.

Emily tells her about the first time she did hard drugs in high school, and the lesbian lover she had in the city when she was nineteen. Stephanie tells her about her most secret fear - that Miles might not be Davis’ child. She cries after she’s said it - she’s never spoken that fear to anyone out loud. Emily strokes her hair and tells her that people do fucked up things for their own fucked up reasons. That she doesn’t blame her. That she understands what she was going through. Emily kisses her deeply and Stephanie is shocked that she’s still attracted to her, even after everything she’s said. Her friend laughs and tells her that she finds people with dark secrets a hundred times more attractive.

“Don’t worry about it, dark side. There are things I haven’t told you yet that you couldn’t even imagine.”

After all of that, they tuck the kids in bed and kiss them goodnight, and Stephanie packs lunch boxes for the two of them. She even ropes Emily into cutting vegetable sticks.

And later that night, Emily goes down on her for the first time. She comes three times against her mouth, gasping Emily’s name into her pillow with her hands tangled in her friend’s hair, but just like the last time, Emily refuses to let her reciprocate. Instead she curls around her body from behind like she did the previous time and soothes her to sleep, tracing gentle patterns on her skin. They don’t speak.

Stephanie had thought that perhaps the previous cuddling was down to Emily having had a shitty day and needing to relax - she certainly didn’t seem at all like the kind of person who would be in to cuddling after sex - or, to be honest, the kind of person who would pull her best friend on top of her on the couch just to wrap her arms around her and hold her. But then again, Emily is constantly surprising her. And Stephanie can’t help but feel honoured that her best friend seems to seek comfort and safety in her, even if Emily would probably hate the idea that this is what this is. 

The bedroom is absolutely freezing and she allows herself to be enveloped in Emily’s warmth, counting her heartbeats and feeling her breathing against her ear slow down until she too falls asleep, warmed and sated, but only half satisfied.


End file.
